Self-Esteem
In the name of God.
Greetings.
I want to talk about the relationship of self-esteem with our happiness and success.
After monotheism and heart connection with God, the foundation of a person’s progress and the main pillar of happiness is self-esteem.
It means that the most important thing for every person to succeed and create happiness is his self-esteem. It is people's self-esteem that determines physical and mental health and the best events in people's lives.
In the beginning, in a simple way, I will mention some issues about self-esteem, then we will explain them further.
Self-esteem and conscience
The topic of self-esteem has a long discussion that the most important factor of self-esteem is feeling of guilt, that means, That is, the main pillar of people's self-esteem is the issue of guilt, the feeling of guilt about what they have done in the past... the feeling of guilt towards their family, children, parents, spouse, people around them and the society they lives in. They hold themselves responsible for what happened. This is a very important issue that ninety percent of the society is involved in, and I will try to address this issue more in my talks.
Self-esteem and the feeling of worth
The next topic in the talk of self-esteem after guilt is the feeling of worth and competence. Meaning the person knows himself a worthy person or not. Like when he wants to speak in a group, he says to himself that I am not fit to talk in a group of most important people like this and there is a long distance between me and these people. This is a weak person’s mindset and by thinking like this the persons robs himself of all the opportunities.
And then there are those who have that feeling of worth but they lack the confidence to speak in a crowd and when you ask them to say something they say no it’s not a good idea, they don’t want to be in spotlight, they might say he wants to show off and many other reasons.
Self-esteem and self-belief
It’s the same story about self-love. I remember talking to a friend whose had a divorce with his wife and I was giving him advices about his family problems and he were saying a lot about how much he loved his wife. My initial question to him was that: do you love yourself? He confidently said no I hate myself, it’s my wife who is important not me.
Now this was the romantic aspect of this mindset and if someone decides to live with this mindset in every aspect of his life, he is going to have problems. If you love yourself as a person you will start to grow. And if you love yourself then you will reach true confidence. Although it is no problem to love your spouse dearly but beforehand you must love yourself so that the world loves you.
If you see this characteristic in yourself than I will give you a simple training that if you do for 21 days, you will how different people will treat you.
The best and easiest thing you can do is when you get up in the morning, you stand in front of the mirror and praise yourself, you look at your beauty, you praise your eyes, your face, your existence, and every feature you see. You say, "Thank you, God, for creating me so beautiful. Maybe it's a bit difficult at first, but if you do this exercise regularly, it won't take much time. Just spend five minutes a day and talk about your beauty and your self-esteem." the world does not love the person who does not love himself, this is the law of the universe.
It's the same about feeling worthy of speaking in a group. If you can't express your ability in a group, do this exercise. For example, imagine a group of people you are talking to, make a mental image and talk to them. Stand in front of the mirror, talk to yourself, tell yourself about your capabilities, suppose a group of 5, 10, 50, and visualize as much as you can, then talk to them and tell them about your capabilities, challenge yourself. Ask yourself, answer yourself and express the ability you have with yourself, then little by little with someone you trust, you know that they will not make fun of you, express your ability to them, then increase the number of people. slowly go inside the group and talk so you can lift your confidence.
Self-esteem and the ability to say no
The next topic is the ability to say no. Most people don’t have this important ability and unlike their inner desire, they can’t decline and they always see themselves in a dept to others.
And when someone has a request and their conditions are not suitable, they cannot say no to the person, the power of saying no should grow within you, so you can mention your own conditions. Helping others is great, it’s a positive energy that you give to the world that ends up benefiting you, but when an issue that comes up and ends up being detrimental to you, an issue that wastes your time, an issue that endangers your social position, then you should easily say I'm sorry, I can't cooperate and help you in this issue right now.
Self-esteem and pretending
The next issue is about self-esteem, putting up a face or pretending.
Note that you don't need to please others, you don’t want to hurt yourself or put yourself in trouble, you see many people showing off for the sake of attention or for the sake of jealousy. They want to get a car under the loan or get a device to show off to others that I bought this or that, there is no need for these things at all, live your own life, progress in your life step by step. Move forward when you see that there was so much progress that you didn't need to take a loan and put yourself in trouble.
Jealousy makes you put yourself in trouble and get involved in these kinds of problems.
We have kind of masking and that is to please others and that is to make people like you, you change your appearance.
Humans are beautiful by themselves, there is no need to put on make-up or perform strange surgeries on your face for people to say how beautiful you are, there is no need for these things, the more you enter this hole, the lower your self-esteem is. If you take example from this kind of people, you are not moving in the right direction.
Regarding fear, sadness, lies, not being satisfied with small demands, feeling like a victim, self-belief and the power to create a good life, these are directly related to self-esteem, which are discussed very long, that hopefully we can discus them in future meetings or in training classes. I will explain these in more detail and share them with you.
My heart’s desire is your happiness…
In the end, I wish you health, well-being and happiness in this world and the hereafter, and I entrust you to the merciful God.
Farewell.
Habib Kheiri.